420 ftw
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
