im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
