Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
