Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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