I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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