whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
