I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
