I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
