Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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