i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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