i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
