But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
