I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
