so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
