Betty ford says i'm here all night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
