dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
