I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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