Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
