Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
