im drinking this country out of the recession.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize