If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
