Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
