So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
