so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
