let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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