Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
40s are totally the cure
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
