Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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