I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The struggles of a small town man whore
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
