She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
