So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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