Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
