Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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