I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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