After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
