I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I lost the right to judge tonight
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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