Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize