Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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