I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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