I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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