i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
