just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
