i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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