I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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