i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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