evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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