I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
