If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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