My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
