Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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