That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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