grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
