Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
