It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
