I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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