I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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