I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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