so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
